The first thing I must say is thank you so, so much for all the thoughtful and caring comments on my last post. It makes so much difference, knowing that I’m not alone, and that there are so many lovely people out there.
I have been back at work for a day and a half, working steadily, tidying up as much as I can, and drafting a constructive exit letter to the chairman. Because I care about the future of the organisation, because I know my successor won’t have things easy and I want to do what I can to help, and because it’s what I need to do for my own professional pride and self-esteem.
That I’ve been able to do that at least reassured me that I hadn’t inadvertently done something really dreadful and not even realised.
The Chief Executive had asked me to go with him to meet the new HR Consultant at 4.30 yesterday, but 4.30 came and went and 5.00 arrived without said chief executive coming back from wherever he’d been, and so I left for home as usual.
Maybe I should have pushed the point, but I didn’t. And the chief executive said nothing about it when he came through this morning, so who knows what’s going on?!
My thinking is let them have their say and then counter-punch. Because what ever they might say they are unhappy with I can say that they should have told me before so that I could have put it right, done it differently, explained my reasons …
Even before this whole business started I had a job interview line up for this afternoon. It went well. I don’t really expect to get it, because it’s in a business sector I’ve never working in and using accounts software I don’t know – but it reminded me that there’s a whole world of people out there who I haven’t met yet, and that I’ve done some interesting work in the past that I can build on to do more interesting things in the future.
And so while I was lost at the weekend, going back to work, looking at new possibilities, talking about things, has restored my confidence, at least in part.
It may not be easy, but I will extricate myself from this job, and there will be something else out there for me.
If there is a ‘career break’ along the way just think of all the books I can catch up with!
And tomorrow, all being well, I start to write about books again!